I thought I was MAD before...that was nothing - SoberRecovery ...

After picking up DS yesterday, I could tell he was out of sorts. He always tells me his heart, whatever is bothering him. I waited until he was ready and boom! out it came. He cried and cried for over an hour saying that he misses "his house" and that dad tells him that the reason we are not a family and live together is that mommy does not love him (dad) anymore and he will probably have to sell the house yack yack yack. The thought that I could "not love dad anymore" made him worry that someday I "might not love him (DS) anymore! Of course, I reassured him that NOTHING could ever make me stop loving him and that I DO love daddy, but that we cannot live with him. We talked about things we remembered that caused mom to decide to move. We prayed. Once he felt better and was reassured that I would NEVER stop loving him, we had a stuffed animal slumber party in my bed, even though it was a school night. We laughed and snuggled until we went to sleep.

My son (8), feels like dad pulled the rug out from under him. He told me that the things dad was saying "hurt my heart really bad".

There is more that upset him, but it is enough for me that he hurt our son's heart really bad. NO contact here we come.

I just keep running scenarios in my mind that I will not carry out, but somehow it makes me feel better. I had previously told my AH when he did this the first time that he should not discuss us or the house with our son--like I should actually have to tell a grown adult parent that!!!! We are the adults and he should not have to "handle" any of our "stuff". Now I find out that he says this stuff all the time.

This is completely a case of "what do you have when you remove the alcohol from an asshat? You have an asshat!"

I guess that since AH stopped drinking, I thought maybe we could lovingly co-parent while living separately to the benefit of our son. NOPE. I just want to scream! I just want to confront him and say "What kind of a dad does that to his son?!!!!!!" "What is wrong with you?" "Are you insane?" "How dare you hurt my son!!!!!!!!"

I have been reading about all of you going no contact in prep for this. I will be calling DS counselor to make an appt. Someone told me that some Alateen groups will allow kids as young as 8 to join in. I will look into that.

Can you guys help me with how to explain to DS about no contact and any other thoughts you have...

(Sigh) What would I do if I had not found you guys years ago? Thanks for reading everyone....hugs.

Source: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/287861-i-thought-i-mad-before-nothing.html

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